Who we are
Our website address is: https://www.lmao.com. I guess you know that. You are here after all. Not sure why that part is there. Or why this is here. Man, things like this make you wonder stuff like – what even is life? I guess we will let the suits take it from here.
What personal data we collect and why we collect it
Comments
When visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.
An anonymized string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. The Gravatar service privacy policy is available here: https://automattic.com/privacy/. After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment.
Media
If you upload images to the website, you should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to the website can download and extract any location data from images on the website.
Cookies
If you leave a comment on our site you may opt-in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will last for one year, after which we throw them out and make a fresh batch for our new visitors.
If you visit our login page, we will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser.
When you log in, we will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select “Remember Me”, your login will persist for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed.
If you edit or publish an article, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It expires after 1 day.
Embedded content from other websites
Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website.
These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website.
Who we share your data with
If you request a password reset, your IP address will be included in the reset email.
How long we retain your data
If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.
For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.
What rights you have over your data
If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data we hold about you, including any data you have provided to us. You can also request that we erase any personal data we hold about you. This does not include any data we are obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.
Where we send your data
Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service.
Information we added after the suits were done with their nerd talk
Contact forms and your contact information
The VC’s told us to save it because it is valuable. Then, when we tried to sell it, no one really wanted it. They said something about how our user base was not optimal. Not sure what they meant. Maybe they were just kidding. In any case, we are still working on how to monetize your information. We have two of the three steps figured out already. Step 1: Collect user data. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit. If you have any suggestions for step 2, please let us know.
Analytics
We use Google Analytics. Mostly because it’s free. It’s good too, but we use it mostly because it’s free.
How we protect your data
Harold is in charge of data security here – well data security and building security. He also locks the doors at night. The reason he is here so late each night is because his wife left him and he has no one to go home to. He tries to smile and hide the pain, but you can really see it in his eyes when he smiles. It’s kind of funny if you think about it!
What data breach procedures we have in place
We got Larry from Fiverr to keep an eye out for breaches. We have not heard from him in years. Seems like a good sign, right?
What automated decision making and/or profiling we do with user data
We use a dark-matter based engine powered by a microverse battery to do all of our decision making and/or profiling. Look for more details about that in our our upcoming IPO! 😉 🚀🚀🚀🌙
Industry regulatory disclosure requirements
We have no industry regulatory disclosures. Unless that counts as a disclosure, in which case we have one industry regulatory disclosure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
